Just fell off a train. Bad.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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