I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
