Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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