I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
