I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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