i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
