Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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