My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
