They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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