I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
