She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
