It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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