If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she woke up with a sticky ear
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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