i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
