just tell him i said nine months
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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