No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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