How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
