Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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