Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
