so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Randomize
