week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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