so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
