I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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