so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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