bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We need to get me chipped asap
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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