I wannas sexs uuuuu
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
