i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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