Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
