i jhust puked up my retainher.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am mentally ready for anal.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
