i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My pussy is not your playground.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
