i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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