I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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