The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
