All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
