and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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