My room smells like vodka and shame
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
