We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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