It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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