You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
