Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
