I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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