1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
