I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
