I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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