i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
