12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
