I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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