It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
