Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize