What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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