It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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