We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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