yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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