Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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