Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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