CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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