420 ftw
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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