Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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