We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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