we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
