Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
