So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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