forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
