Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
