I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How does one acquire holy water?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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